Today someone broke into my LOCKED garage and stole 2 bikes. My single-speed cruiser with cool ass art deco styling and an old ten speed road bike I bought secondhand two days ago.

I live in an area with a massive homeless population. It's not uncommon to see a homeless guy on a brand new bike that would have cost hundreds of dollars. Or riding a nice bike and wheeling along an even nicer bike next to him. You know they didn't buy it.

That's why I'm proposing a new movement, called Take Back Our Bikes. I propose we steal bikes from homeless people en masse, targeting those with the nicest, newest looking bikes first. We then post ads on craigslist, post up fliers in public places and bike stores, and ride our stolen bikes around in public in our neighborhood and the neighborhood they were recovered in, in hopes of finding their true owners. We do the same if our own bike is stolen, so people are on the lookout for our missing bikes.

Cops are barely useful if a regular person's bike is stolen, if a homeless guy's bike is stolen, first off he's unlikely (and even unable) to report it at all, especially if it's stolen, second he likely doesn't know the serial number and won't recall the brand name or model accurately, third, the cop is likely to give less than zero fucks or even arrest the guy if he admits to having a $600 bike swiped off of him while scavenging in a dumpster for discarded bagels.

Pic related, similar to the second bike that was stolen.