It's finally happened for me. I have a gun and I have bullets on the way. I'm ready to die.

I've tried really hard anon. I support myself on my own. I managed to get a gf. I'm in school and I have a job. It's just too much. And I won't succeed, ever. Not like the rest of them, I realize that now.

I didn't have rich parents, they were poor. They weren't supportive, they abused me. I was a shut in, and went to an alternative school, not a fancy preparatory school. I still lack the skills to properly socialize, which are necessary to secure a job, maybe even more important than academia and intelligence. I don't have good genetics. Bad skin, bad teeth, bad hair, bad sleep, short, weak, unattractive. All of these things are so important to succeeding in life, and there is only so much I can do to change these things.

I spent all month fixing my piece of shit car. I should have been focusing on my classes.

I'm still doing well right now in school, but I haven't slept or eaten in weeks. The food stamps help, but they don't help enough. It's just not worth it. Maybe I'll finally graduate with my engineering degree this year, but I am still inferior. I always will be. There is no reason to keep living when I am less.