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>be 16
>Always a nice, good kid because I had two loving well off parents
>high sense of self worth but kinda shy
>one day thinking about life
>newfound realization that I will die one day
>become fixated on it
>walk around at night having panic attacks saying "I don't want to die. I don't want to die."
>withdraw from everyone around me
>just focus on school, discovering and making music, and sports
>one day work up the courage to ask out the girl I've had a crush on since middle school
>she's a perfect 10
>she says yes
>we date for 2 years
>I am feeling alive as hell
>slowly become accustom to the relationship and begin to think about dying again
>start to see all my flaws play themselves out
>lose girlfriend
>drop out of college
>become suicidal
>get sent to a suicidal place
>realize I don't want to die, I want to live and don't know how
>meet cute girl at mental hospital
>we get released and start dating
>feeling happy again
>she slips back into depression
>kills herself
>sad but can't really feel things as deep as I used to
>no real motivation to do anything anymore
>just lay around in my childhood bedroom all day everyday browsing the web, watching movies, and listening to music
>turning 23 next year
>not really miserable or anything, strangely content
Life isn't so bad but I could have made it so much more
