I saw a My Little Pony fembot at the mall the other day. You were in build-a-bear getting a toy. I've never seen such a thing. Adults into ponies. Whatever.

However, you weren't fat, and it seemed like there were some daddy issues. You were in the company of some half-tard looking guy. Probably your brother.

I want to make the following contractual arrangement with you:

1. I provide a weekly allowance of $250.00 for your stupid hobbies and interests. Any other trips, meals at restaurants etc, that is on me.

2. You get a car, so you can come and go to your stupid "cons" as you see fit.

3. I really don't want you milling around my house, so go about your business until I call. When I call, you will meet me where I instruct you to go. There we will have sex as I see fit. You shall wear your pony stuff. Rainbow wig...ears...tail. All that. Expect a lot of reverse cow girl.

The contract is valid week to week.

HMU.