>>22693253I'm glad that medication is helping you. And yes, writing really helps me too. Though when I look back at it, I realise just how many people I go through each day in who I am. Sometimes I don't even register I wrote it. This even goes for social interactions.
I don't want to be scared anymore either. I remember when I died in hospital it was the most peaceful, warm feeling I'd ever had. Everything was calm.
Not saying you should kill yourself though because
some times I've felt really really amazing in life. Like, things just click and feel right. And grounded. And that's something I'm not used to having. It's hard to get but I'm working harder to get it more often.
I just hate not being able to shower because I can see a body's shape beyond the curtain, or not being able to sleep because I can see the shadows of someone standing outside my door. Or being too paralysed to look up in case I see it staring at me again.
It's just as real as anyone elses' reality, and that's what people don't get. But you know this. I really hope it does get better.
If you ever want to talk more, I'm okay with giving out my kik. Same goes for anyone here.
