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My MTG experience

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>start playing mtg because used to have a deck when 12 but couldn't understand anything that was happening

>friend plays mtg and shows me the ropes

>we both use beginner decks and go about even

>start to build my own (water/dark) and challenge him

>within three turns he already has 30 stacks of spiders

>just an overwhelming amount of spiders

>spiders start crawling out of the crevices in my house

>spiders falling out air vents

>looks like some shit out of arachnophobia

>spiders converge to form giant terry crews looking human hybrid spider

>24 pack abdomen with collectively 8 spider dicks about as thick and long as baseball bats

>crowded together like udders

>spider god leans down into my face

>"advance to combat phase"

>"b-block with-"

>"no you don't"

>pants fill with jizz

>look over at friend who is now a hollowed husk with spiders leaving and entering his body

>dog is now spider

>spider god shoves his udder dicks up my ass then opens me up like a reverse bear trap from the inside

>last image is spider god sipping tea while reading a newspaper

>mfw