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Once I joined a free form game with light combat rules. Everyone was a special snowflake, and edgelord, a mary sue, or a mixture. I made a proud warrior orc with a good heart who insisted on having all the skinny females, all of them humans, elves and drows, get the child bearing hips all women should have. I dumped all charisma and intelligence and a good chunk of my wisdom to be a fucking brutal combat beast that could easily beat them.
I mostly spend my time hunting in the forests, then catching the females and force feeding them lightly cooked meat. Some of them, the archers, used their bullshit agility to escape away from me, so I reverted to throwing the meat at them and aiming for the mouth. A few rounds later they had swallowed a good few chunks of half cooked meat and had been hit in the face by a few more bloody chunks. All while mentoring them on the virtues of wide hips and how with my help they´ll soon be ready to have strong children.
Some time later the admin complained I wasn´t taking the campaign (which apparently had been running for weeks, which is not a surprise considering the pace. In the whole evening all they did was talk shit in a forest while two half dragons flew around to hunt and travel dimensions) seriously enough and kicked me.
Best one shot ever.
