>girlfriend is pregnant with someone elses child
>got with her after she was pregnant
>be wishing and praying for a miscarriage for weeks
>today see homeless couple standing on the side of the road
>have brand new fresh hot rice and vegetables from fancy chinese place to go
>have 20 dollar bill ready to hand to them
>think perhaps i could give them my newly bought meal instead
>for some reason decide not to do either
>be driving along, not feeling bad about not giving what i had
>start to eat the portable items on my way to work
>look away from the road for two seconds
>woman is breaking for a green light
>>break hard and BUMP
>no damage to the car
>rice and vegetables flew all over my floor
>continue driving down the road
>normally a great driver
>somehow be so distracted that my car swerves back and forth and back and forth as if being pushed by god himself out of anger of my wishing death, and putting my needs before the needs of others and outright being too impatient to give myself a moment to sit and eat at a table at work

Did God allow satan to fuck my shit? Is this one of those moments? Was i being harassed by the devil? When i lost control of the car, i just felt like "never before have i been this out of control on a straight road with no turns" It was impossible.