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1) make a black/red demon vampire deck, aka the edgiest of decks.
2) put on your trenchcoat and fedora.
3) head down to the game shop.
4) be creepy and weird while trouncing noobs.
after defeating six hundred and sixty six opponents in this manner, your deck will be fully charged, and you can advance to stage five.
5) take your fully-charged deck inna woods, or better still into a swamp or mountain, on the night of the new moon.
6) draw a pentagram on the ground and place your deck in the center.
7) chant the following dark prayer to satan 13 times: "O SATAN MY LORD OF DARK MYSTERY, TAKE MY SOUL AND FILL ME WITH YOUR HOT FIRES OF SHADOW!" while masturbating furiously.
8) while visualizing succubuses sucking you off and satan fingering your butthole (this part is important), blow your load all over your deck.
9) shuffle & cut.
10) burn the deck, inhaling the smoke.
11) rub the ashes over your whole body (dont forget your ears!)
12) chant "HAIL SATAN!" thirteen time
13) congratulations, you have successfully completed the ritual. By the next full moon, Satan will have fully sucked out your soul and replaced it with undying fire and darkness. You will now be unstoppable.
